1. Give $$$ to charity. (but like a real one so not Kony I don’t think?)
2. Try your hand at logging into healthcare.gov without getting an error message. HINT: your hand will be bad.
3. Test out pepper spray on yourself.
4. Successfully explain the benefits of consumerism to a 5 year old.
5. Climb into an air duct at Sears and try to have your very own Neverending Story.
6. Stand in front of TV wall at Best Buy and hold your breath until you pass out.
7. Strip naked and dive into cacti.
8. Maybe today is a good day to begin building up that cyanide tolerance you’ve always talked about?
9. Memorize Pi to 100 digits KIDDING eat a whole pie in one sitting (TIP: it can be pizza if U want)
10. Facebook message every person you’ve ever had a crush on.