June 2011
35 posts
CHILDHOOD CELEBRITY CRUSHES
AGE 5: Mark Wahlberg
AGE 7: Macaulay Culkin
AGE 10: Stefan Urquelle
AGE 13: Skeet Ulrich
AGE 14: Bruce Willis/Will Smith
At 5 years old I sat on my swing set, truly believing that if I concentrated hard enough Mark Wahlberg would walk into my backyard and ask me to marry him. At 7 I prayed that my Dad would get a new job and our new house would “just happen” to be next door to the Culkins. I wanted to become an actor so that Jaleel White would fall in love with me during my guest appearance on Family Matters. Is it creepy that I was in love with the killer from the first Scream? Because I was. And the Bruce Willis/Will Smith dual ticket? I memorized every word to both Men In Black and The Fifth Element. I dreamed about standing between Bruce & Will as they both asked me to be their boyfriend. That’s normal, right?
THUMBS DOWN, IDIOT DRIVER
I was two blocks from my apartment, almost finished my morning run. To cross Park Avenue there’s a short tunnel between lanes of traffic since Metro North is above ground north of 96th St. I had a walk signal, but when I exited the end of the tunnel there was a van coming toward me (who had a red light) and I couldn’t stop. I pushed off the hood with all the measly upper-body strength I could muster, putting me on the other side the van instead of under it. So I didn’t get hit by a car but it scared me so much I was shaking. THUMBS DOWN IDIOT DRIVER.
